Erika’s favorite things November 30, 2007

Just in time for holiday gift-giving! (Not for me. I already have this stuff.) Unlike Oprah, I’m not giving you free samples.

Curel hand lotion - I’m not a big lotion person, especially on my hands. But ever since Sherman was born, I wash them so often that they hurt if I don’t put lotion on right away.

High School Musical Soundtrack - I’m too ashamed to say anything more, other than I have to get the HSM2 soundtrack soon (since Zac Efron actually sings on that one)

towel warmer - This was a wedding registry item that I took a lot of teasing for. But we got it, and I love it. Just perfect on these winter mornings!

Grund Texture Ultra Light - I get this from my ridiculously overpriced salon, but it works miracles with my hair (which is fine and thick at the same time. Does that make sense?). Smooths and protects against humidity. I mix it with the Grund Shape before I blowdry.

Tivo - No further explanation needed. How did we live without this thing?

My new $30 boots from Famous Footwear - they are comfortable and perfect for work or with jeans. And not tall/itchy/hot!

webcam - This allows Sherman to see and interact with my parents even when they’re at home, and I am so thankful it’s free! (Best time to chat is while S is in the bath, so he can’t grab for the computer)

Newsweek - most nights we don’t have time to watch all the news, so reading Newsweek makes me feel connected to the world. I look forward to it every Monday!

valet keychain - Since I bought these, I can start my car in the morning and leave my house key inside so I can lock up the house when I’m ready to go. It’s still dark when I leave at 5:30am, but I used to leave the door unlocked because it was too much of a pain to go back and forth. Also, if for some terrible reason my car was stolen while it was heating up, the thief wouldn’t have my house key (just my library card barcode keychain).

Cropper Hopper Photo Case - ever since I gave up scrapbooking, I at least keep my pictures organized, and using the Cropper Hopper (which is waterproof) makes me feel like less of a failure.

Peapod - going to the grocery store used to be a major hassle at our house. Occasionally we would take Sherman but that never ends well; he won’t sit in a shopping cart at any store and grocery shopping takes a long time and it’s boring. So then one of us would go alone to get the groceries, leaving the other at home with Sherman, and our weekend revolved around when this chore would get done. Now I can “shop” all week long, checking to see what I have in the pantry before I add it to the cart, and then have it delivered Sunday morning before we are even showered, so we aren’t missing out on anything. The $6.95 delivery fee is worth that!

VZW Navigator - I used this for the first time a few weeks ago when I drove to Pittsburgh. I would love to have a GPS in the car as much as anyone, but we rarely take car trips other than to my in-laws’, and we know every possible way to get there. But there are random occasions, or times when you’re out of your normal area and you’d like to find a Wendy’s or a Wawa or something. That’s why I love this Verizon service. It’s $2.99 for 24 hours, and it goes wherever you go. You can’t beat that!

scroogeish November 29, 2007

Not that I want to beat a dead horse, since Jen had such a well-thought-out post about this subject before Thanksgiving. But after leaving my smug comment on her post about not having to buy gifts for all of Train’s family for the first time last year, there were some mutinous grumblings at my in-laws’ over Thanksgiving regarding my Scroogey stance on gifts.

Train has two sisters and a brother. (You can (try to) keep track of them here.) His mother still demands that we create Christmas lists and although she now has a daughter-in-law and son-in-law to buy for, I suspect that she still spends the same amount of money, time, and energy Christmas shopping as she did when her children all lived at home. On the other hand, my mother - in the interest of ease and saving space in our luggage when we return from our after-Christmas trip to Key West - gives Train and I each a check or gift card.

For the first three years after we got married, we exchanged gifts with each of Train’s siblings. I don’t remember what we gave, just that getting them to give me suggestions was like pulling teeth. I remember several gift cards and restaurant gift certificates that we were given that we never could use.

I know people think gift cards are so terrible and thoughtless gifts, but I for one appreciate them. However…they aren’t foolproof. Sometimes you just can’t use them. Or you hate Best Buy and you refuse to walk into the store even if you are spending your brother-in-law’s money.

Given that, I made the logical mental jump last year that we should just give money for Christmas, since it can be used anywhere for anything.

Then I made another logical mental jump that if we are all just going to exchange $20 bills, why bother in the first place? Let’s nix the whole gift exchange and enjoy the freedom from stress as our gift. I pitched it especially to his younger, unmarried brother (Wahoo) and sister (Nanny) this way: why buy a gift for me, Train, and Sherman when we only have to buy one gift for you?

Everyone was reluctantly on board. We still got gifts for Train’s parents, including last year’s new kitchen table and chairs which was a group gift. We all had plenty to open Christmas Day since his mom had spoiled us as usual. But last year was also the first Christmas for Sherman and our niece Pete, so everyone was focused on them, and what Santa had brought them, and trying to get them to rip some wrapping paper. It was great!

Or so I thought. Possibly my in-laws think I ruined Christmas last year.

My favorite Christmas movie truly is How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I rediscovered it a few years ago (the original, cartoon version that was shown on television) and was shocked to realize it was only 30 minutes long. As a kid it seemed to take forever, with the Grinch preparing Max and sled to go careening down the mountains, slinking around the Whos houses taking all of their presents and decorations, then the Whos gathering outside anyway to “Welcome Christmas”. In my family, we call roast beef “roast beast”. Any time I move out of an apartment/house, I leave “nothing but hooks, and some wire” on the walls and feel especially Grinchy. When things get too loud, I complain about “all the NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!” That poem, and that gruffy narrator, are ingrained in my head. “It came without packages, boxes, or bags!”

I don’t hate the giving part of gift-giving. When I find the perfect gift, I really do enjoy giving to others and making them happy, any time of the year. Who doesn’t? The hard part is finding that “perfect gift”. In the stress and pressure of Christmas, I end up left with no other option than gift cards or cash. Which isn’t really the point of Christmas gifts. (Not to say that gifts are the point of Christmas, but that is another post, don’t you think?)

Where this puts me is on a slippery slope. If you see gift giving as “trading money” as I do, you start to question all of it. I mean, I enjoy picking things out for my mother, but does it make a lot of sense for me to spend $50 on her when she’s going to turn around and give me some cash for myself and a pile of useful gifts for Sherman? Where does it end? It’s all very existential.

I think if I were one of those people (whom I admire) that pick things up throughout the year that truly make them think of the recipient, it would be much different. Then, holiday gifts would be much more about the person and my fondness for them instead of a feeling of obligation or tit-for-tat. I wish I could do that. I wish I had the time and money to color coordinate my ornaments and gift wrap. I wish people looked forward to receiving packages of homemade treats from my kitchen each year. But none of that is going to happen in the near future, so I’d rather just save myself, and everyone, the trouble.

As far as gifts for me, I learned from my mother that when you buy what you want, when you want, for yourself all year long, it’s tacky and unnecessary to truly long for things at Christmas. That’s why last year we didn’t exchange Christmas gifts. We have a joint bank account, and I don’t need another excuse to spend our money on myself. (Train never wants anything that costs money, so it’s not really a factor. As with most things, this truly is all about me.)

So really, maybe I’m more of a Who than a Grinch. I want Christmas to be more about the holiday and about family and time spent together and not the gifts (although it’s out of laziness, not a purity of spirit). What is your philosophy?

it’s that time again! November 28, 2007

Last week I was updating my About Me page, trying to distill my John Edwards love into easy-to-understand snippets, when I came across the story (which I included on the page) of attending the Winter DNC Meeting here in D.C. in February. Monday night John called to invite me to the Fall Meeting, which is being held in Northern Virginia on Friday. Unfortunately, I can’t attend, but I know those of you who are near a television will be watching on C-SPAN.

decorating the Christmas tree November 27, 2007

Last year I don’t think Sherman even noticed the Christmas tree, except Christmas morning when we weren’t paying attention and I think he rolled underneath it. This year he was there to see it go up.

I never could get a picture of the shrieking and screaming that went on.

I let him decide where to put the ornaments - not all of them of course, but I would hold one up and get him to point where to put it.

He’s already pulled one ornament off and broken it. But it was from Train’s aunt, so it’s okay.

And since everyone was sick, we never got a family Christmas card photo. Instead, I would like to share with you Sherman’s photo essay: “Getting my diaper changed on a friend’s couch, featuring Mommy and my grandparents”

all the trimmings November 26, 2007

Wednesday was the longest workday ever. Usually the government shuts down early the day before a holiday because no one is at work. My agency said on Tuesday that THERE WOULD BE NO EARLY DISMISSAL. Pshaw. I didn’t believe it. BY THREE O’CLOCK I HAD TO GET THE F OUT OF THERE.

I hadn’t been feeling well but I wasn’t sure if it was just boredom. After a standing-only Metro ride to the bus stop (next to a 10-year-old blonde girl who read over the shoulder of the man in the seat beside us as he read an adult newspaper which he then left on the floor), a 20-minute wait for the bus, and the trip home, I was fanning myself with a magazine…by the time I got in the car when my mom picked me up I was just praying to make it home before I threw up.

I made it home to the couch, thank goodness, and spent the rest of the evening in bed and begging Train via text message to please come home from happy hour since Sherman was giving my parents a fit.

I felt better on Thanksgiving morning, especially after a shower, but my dad couldn’t get out of bed. Train and I ended up taking Sherman to my in-laws’ without my parents, shooting that tradition in the foot.

On Black Friday, it was my mom who spent the early morning hours on the floor of the bathroom. She and my dad spent most of the day napping. Train made a Wal-Mart run mid-morning in the off chance a $50 portable DVD player was still there but no luck. I watched We Are Marshall during Sherman’s nap.

On Saturday, everyone was feeling well enough to get up and showered. Train went with his brother to the UVA/Virginia Tech football game. My parents and I took Sherman to Ikea and Target, then headed home to put up the Christmas tree and wrap the tons of gifts we already bought for Sherman. Train got home right around dinner time and Sherman pitched the tantrum to end all tantrums…ugh. He finally calmed down and spent half an hour pitching a ball to my mom…he’s actually pretty good!

And of course, in the middle of the night I heard Train yakking in the bathroom (interrupting my inappropriate dream about Zac Efron). He was okay just to stay in bed so Mom, Dad, Sherman and I went to visit some friends in Maryland as planned (we called first to warn them that we were probably covered in virus but they wanted us to come anyway).

When we got home, we all took Sherman to the Festival of Lights (one of those drive through Christmas light displays for 20 bucks a pop) which he really liked. It was neat to watch him. I wish I had let him sit up front with my dad but we didn’t think of that until we were at the end. Then when we got back home, Train and my dad hung up new coat hooks and a shelf in our front hallway.

All in all, after the cancellation of our NYC trip last weekend, illness, and Sherman generally showing his ass, this has not been a great trip for my parents. Here’s hoping our New Years trip will be much better!

i won’t be home for christmas November 21, 2007

My parents are here and like we’ve done for the past few years, we will all go out to my mother-in-law’s house for Thanksgiving. I am very thankful that we do not have to “choose” which holidays to spend with which family each year.

When I was a kid, we would spend Thanksgiving with my mother’s family (including her 4 siblings) and Christmas with my dad’s family (he’s an only child like me), and then the next year we would switch. Both of these options involved traveling to Florida - mom’s family was 8 hours away from our house in North Carolina, while dad’s parents were 20 hours away in Key West, and we always drove to both places. I can only remember one Christmas Day spent at home before I went to college. There were two things I considered “normal” when I was growing up: spending the holidays away from home, and going to daycare during summer break.

Santa would always find me at my grandma’s house, where there was never a fireplace but my stocking hung from Grandma Betty’s wet bar and got filled up just the same. As I got older (and Santa stopped coming), Christmas came earlier, as in the night before we packed up the car to head to Florida. That way there were no gifts to hide in the trunk of the car and I could pick and choose what gifts to bring with me. After all, these were the days before internet shopping and drop shipping.

Now, since my parents don’t have any other children to split their time with, they are able to spend Thanksgiving with us and my in-laws. I’m also glad that my in-laws are willing to include them, but they are those kinds of folks…the more the merrier, especially since Sherman came along.

For Christmas, we will do our own thing on Christmas Eve (mainly because I’ll be working that day). When I was a kid, I sometimes missed enjoying my own family’s Christmas tree and decorations while waiting for Santa (don’t get me wrong, I loved being with family, I just wasn’t crazy about the traveling, and no one ever came to us), and I would like for Sherman’s memories of the holidays to include our home.

Christmas morning we will get up to open gifts, then shower and get ready and head out to Ditto’s house for gifts and a nice big meal with the family. The only thing bad about this is that, since all of Train’s family lives in the same town (except his brother who is not married and spends his Christmas break at his parents’ house anyway), they usually all get together early Christmas morning for gifts. I wish we weren’t left out of that, but I’m not willing to get up at the crack of dawn to go out there, either, so oh well.

Then we’ll go home and pack (and put away the Christmas tree and ornaments if we have time) to leave for my parents’ house on December 26. We’ve done this each year since we got engaged. My parents aren’t adamant about seeing us on the actual holiday, and they actually have their own Christmas Day tradition of going to the movies and going on a nice long bike ride. On the other hand, my mother-in-law thrives on having all of her children (and now grandchildren) together just like when they were kids, and it’s nice to have a tradition.

So we spend the week after Christmas, including New Years Eve, in Key West. Luckily, part of our Christmas gift each year from my parents is the plane tickets to come visit. My mom always hated having to drive to Key West (basically eating up 4 days of time off work in the car) and she insists that my grandparents could have helped out with the cost, so now my parents do.

Our Christmas trip last year was Sherman’s first plane trip and also his first trip to my parents’. It was stressful, but we survived. (Also, Dr. P and her new husband came to spend a few days with us for New Years and we had a blast!)

Since then, we’ve had two more plane trips, and next month, Sherman has his own seat and we will be taking his car seat to strap him down. Otherwise, it’s a two-hour wrestling match that I dread more than anything. I am hoping sitting in his car seat will feel more familiar, while Mommy and Daddy’s hands are free to entertain him and (gasp!) actually drink an in-flight beverage. I hope I am not deluding myself, but I’m actually looking forward to trying the car seat. Ideally he will stay in the seat for the entire (approx. 2 hour) flight because I’m afraid if we let him out he won’t get back in. We’re planning on getting him a portable DVD player and stuffing his stocking with new small toys so we have plenty to entertain him.

Also this year, we are flying to Fort Lauderdale and driving a rental car the rest of the way. This way we avoid having to make connections, and we don’t have to worry about Sherman bothering anyone but us. We can stop and eat, stretch, go to the bathroom on our own schedule (it’s about a four hour drive from the airport to my parents’ - but it’s gorgeous and only about 150 miles). We did the same thing when we went down in June with Ditto and her husband and daughter. I’m hoping for a free upgrade to a minivan on this trip because it would be nice to have the extra room.

It’s possible that as Sherman gets older and possibly has a sibling, that (a) it will be too much hassle to travel to Key West during the holidays or (b) my parents will want to share Christmas morning with their grandchildren. If that happens we’ll reevaluate our routine, but for now it works out very nicely. December is the very best time to go to Key West and I always look forward to it (more than a mid-summer sweat fest) and the New Years festivities.

pennies from heaven November 20, 2007

If your paycheck is direct deposited every two weeks, and during one of the “in between” non-pay weeks, $2200 showed up in your checking account, what would you do?

(a) consider it good karma and move it to your savings account
(b) consider it bad karma and ignore it
(c) report it to your employer

Yes, obviously I am a (c) person. This is most certainly unlucky (unless, of course, it is discovered that this is some secret, unannounced performance bonus) because I’ve been paid mistakenly in the past and it is a huge pain to get everything fixed. But it sure was a nice bump in the account balance for a little while.

meme November 19, 2007

I’ve been tagged by Kelly, who is kind of adorable for tagging people.

7 Random or Weird Things About Me

Surprisingly, I’ve never done this type of meme:

1 - The little toes on both of my feet turn outward (the nail is towards the outside of my foot). My dad’s feet are like this, and so are Sherman’s.

2 - I was the first person ever put on poor standing in my sorority chapter (we were a new chapter), because I had to go to Ditto’s college graduation and I missed a ritual.

3 - If I make a mistake in the checkbook register, I will rip out the page and re-write everything on the next page.

4 - I hate Bluetooth headsets. I suppose that’s not really a weird or unique thing, since everybody that isn’t wearing one in inappropriate places seems to hate them like I do. They make me furious. ANGER-Y!!

5 - I am exceptionally sensitive (i.e. easily irritated) on public transportation - subway, bus, train, airplane, elevator. I try to be very considerate and aware of my personal space/noise and it always amazes me how inconsiderate others are. There are just too many peeves to name. But there was this one guy, who sat next to me every day on the Quiet Car, and took these enormous gulps from his sport-top water bottle…every time unsnapping and snapping the cap…jasfdiasfdhfhdsjkfshdjfhdkfh…(i just died)

6 - After Train and I got married (and back when blogs were for narcissistic nerds only), I began a website where I posted all of our pictures since my parents and our college friends were so far away. It has kind of grown into its own institution, especially once Sherman was born and we get demands for new photo updates. That way I don’t have to email out pictures, if people are interested they can check it (and steal a photo for a wedding slideshow or Myspace profile pic).

7 - It drives me crazy to hear people yawn (or kiss, or chew). I don’t even care if you don’t cover your mouth to yawn, just don’t make noise exhaling. GROSS.

weird thing about my house, #1 November 17, 2007

The first in (possibly) a series?

Train and I bought our current house in November 2005 when I was pregnant with Sherman. It came with beautiful hardwood floors that were original to the house. They were worn, or “well-loved” as I call them, when we moved in. My parents’ house was all carpet except for vinyl flooring in the kitchen/entryway/bathrooms, so I have no experience with hardwood floors.

circa February 2006…sigh…this is when you could actually see the floor

There are all kinds of weird scuffs and marks on the floor, mostly grayish. But the weirdest are in our bedroom and I can’t quite figure them out (at least, I’m afraid I’ve figured them out and I’m hoping someone can point me in a different direction).

We have two walls of windows in our bedroom so there isn’t a lot of flexibility in terms of furniture arrangement.

The red star marks the location of the offending marks. The point of showing you the layout of our bedroom is to give you all of the evidence - i.e., I’m not sure there is any other furniture configuration for the room. Moving the big dresser to the opposite wall in front of the windows means there’s no mirror. Moving the bed against the right hand wall where the other window is makes the room too narrow.

So can someone please give me a possible hypothesis for the origination of these marks?

steel city November 15, 2007

I don’t know what to title this post. “Week of Death” sounds a little harsh.

First there was my coworker’s husband, who was hit by a drunk driver, in a coma for a week, and passed away leaving three daughters (the youngest is 13) and his wife.

Then, my dad’s 49-year-old cousin passed away suddenly (under still-unclear circumstances) this past weekend.

While I was at THAT funeral, I found out that the mother of one of Train’s high school friends, who had been battling breast cancer for a few years, passed away the night before.

So thanks for stopping by for such an uplifting message.

I’d rather talk about my trip to Pittsburgh yesterday. It took four hours to get there. There was a time when High School Musical was almost unbearably cheesy to me. That time has passed. I rocked out in the car.

I don’t know whether to love Pittsburgh or hate it. I dig the blue collar vibe you get as soon as you drive in. I love how the steel mill family houses are just stuck on the sides of mountains anywhere they can go. I’m not wild about the double decker bridges you have to take to get anywhere, but they are kind of charming and unique to the city (thank you VZW Navigator for saving my ass) - after all, the city revolves around the rivers.

It’s so different from the rest of Pennsylvania. You can recognize a Pitt accent anywhere. At the reception after the yesterday there was a keg flowing at noon. My grandfather’s church is now a brewery. Some of you probably can’t help but remember my rowdy Pittsburgh relatives from my wedding (especially that night, in the basement of the hotel, with a bottle of Jose).

My grandparents on my dad’s side were both born in Pittsburgh. My grandmother was one of 6 children (from the West End) and my grandfather was one of four children (from the East End). They were both the oldest in their Irish Catholic families. When they got married (during the Depression), my grandfather was 20 and my grandmother was 16 and still in high school. They kept their marriage a secret for two years until she finished. Unfortunately, the details of this arrangement, which I find fascinating, are unknown since they’re both gone (#1: who married them? they were devout Catholics) (and hey! more death!).

Eventually my grandfather couldn’t find work in Pittsburgh and started heading south. He would find a short-term job and then hear about another and continue on south. By 1939 he was working for the Navy in Key West, and my grandmother finally was able to join him. My dad was born two years later. They never returned to Pittsburgh full time although they visited as much as they could, remained close to their families, and sent my dad to spend every summer with his Pittsburgh aunts, uncles, and cousins.

I always enjoyed going to Pittsburgh because there was always so much going on. Each of my grandmother’s siblings all had at least three kids apiece, and each of THEM all had at least two kids apiece (my dad and I are the only “only children”). So there were always ten thousand kids running around getting into something, with nobody paying attention to us because they were drinking and/or engrossed in discussions/arguments with their own siblings or cousins. Everyone lived in Pittsburgh and they were always together. I still can’t always keep track of which child belong to which aunt or uncle, because everyone was always so jumbled up.

While we didn’t visit too often (since my grandparents weren’t living there and to see them we would go to Florida), we always went for big events like weddings and anniversaries, and a couple of times just to see everybody if it had been a while.

Pittsburgh has this weird glamour to it. Yes, everything is kind of dirty, and gray, but there are incline trains and tall department stores with very low ceilings, and I can imagine my grandmother as a young woman taking a streetcar to sell women’s accessories at Kaufmann’s.

I’m glad I went yesterday, because it was good to see everyone and be introduced as “Jimmy’s daughter”, and to be together during a confusing, sad time. I had to leave too soon to get back before dinner time but it was worth the trip.