The Saga of the Princess February 7, 2008

Do you remember my friend Princess? The one that went to the Democratic National Committee Winter Meeting with me last year. The one who is a die-hard Republican. The one with framed 8 x 10s of George W. Bush (2 of them!) and Ronald Reagan on her desk at work. The one who couldn’t decide if she should vote for Mitt Romney (because he’s cute, and so presidential) or Rudy Giuliani (because he is an ass kicker/name taker) (before they both dropped out of the race).

Princess has been having serious hair issues lately. In her native West Virginia, she could get an excellent cut for $8.00, and she took advantage of that deal every time she went home to visit her parents, which wasn’t often enough.

Her hair is naturally very thin, and it was really long. She uses hot rollers every day but also wore her hair up every day because it was driving her crazy.

Princess is a child of the 80s. She likes BIG hair and lots of volume and curls. And hot rollers. Queen (my carpool mate, and Princess’s best friend) convinced Princess to visit the Queen’s hairstylist. I was excited because Princess was going to get her hair cut short. I had seen pictures of her hair short from when she first started working here (like…when I was still in elementary school) (JUST KIDDING!!!!) and it looked so cute.

So Princess visited the Queen’s stylist, and got her hair cut short, but she wasn’t really happy with the cut. As I said, Princess wasn’t really into the new trends in hairstyles, she liked the classic full shape (definitely no Posh hairdo for her). Her portfolio of hairstyles that she loved was full of magazine pictures from the late 90s, but we all agreed they were styles that would look terrific on Princess. This stylist had given her more of a modern style and she didn’t like it. She visited the stylist one more time and came away even more dissatisfied. She felt like she looked like Joan Jett (long wispy layers close to her neck).

This stylist worked in a small salon with one other stylist. The other stylist was a man. He just happened to be gay. In Princess’s heart of hearts, she had always wanted a man, particularly a gay man, to do her hair. It was always her secret desire and she felt it was the answer to all of her hair problems. She imagined that they could be best friends and he could go shopping with her and they would have fabulous lunches and conversations. However, she didn’t want to go back to the salon and hurt her original (female) stylist’s feelings.

Frustrated, far away from her trusty $8 hairdresser in BFE, West Virginia, and desperate for hair she could work with, Princess took a chance one day after a tanning session and ducked into the salon next door. Her heart leapt when she saw the name on the list of stylists: “Bo.” Could it be the answer to her prayers? She explained her dilemma to the female receptionist, and asked if perhaps she could get an appointment with Bo.

“Well, I’m Bo,” the receptionist said, and Princess was crushed. “I don’t have any openings tonight but I can get you in tomorrow.” Princess agreed and went back the next day for what she hoped was a transformation.

Bo was horrified by what she saw. “You have a hole in the back of your hair!!” Bo told Princess it would take at least a couple of months to fix the damage inflicted by the first stylist. Princess was ready to be patient if Bo was going to give her what she wanted. “You’re not going to leave, are you?” Princess asked Bo. “Oh, no, I love it here!”

So a few months went by, and Princess felt okay about her hair. She still wasn’t thrilled with it but she wasn’t wearing it up every day either. She patiently waited for her hair to grow out so Bo could give her the style she dreamed of.

Of course, when she called a few weeks ago to make an appointment with Bo, Bo was no longer at the salon and there was no way to find her. So Princess was back at square one.

Once again in desperation, she turned to the internet. “Where can I get a great haircut in Washington DC?” she asked Google. And Google answered: “Edward Scissorhands” (not his real name, of course, but you wouldn’t believe me if I told you what his real name was). Review after review of women gushing about the wonderfulness that was Edward.

Could it be? Had the hair gods led Princess to the holy grail of homosexual hair design? And right here in our nation’s capital? She called the salon and got an appointment for that weekend.

Her appointment was at 5:30 on Sunday afternoon. Edward, Princess, and Edward’s assistant were the only ones in the salon. Turns out Edward was moving salons and today was his LAST DAY THERE! She almost lost him forever! Edward, also, was horrified by the hole that was still in the back of her hair. He told her they needed serious damage control. He told her that her “silver” was nowhere near bad enough to require professional coloring (at which he is an expert, of course) if she wasn’t ready to start the lifelong habit.

And Princess was in love. She laughed through the entire appointment and had a wonderful time with Edward and his assistant (who gave her a terrific head massage). She finally felt at home in the stylist’s chair after months of trials and tribulations.

This morning she called me to say that Edward had emailed her to see how she was liking her hair. They were emailing back and forth and having a great time. She has found her soul mate. And now the Queen is going to visit him!