Effected

More for my benefit than yours.

alive July 9, 2008

Filed under: best stressed, second pregnancy — Erika @ 1:45 pm

Just a quick post to let you know I have not (totally) lost my mind. I’m still here, Train is gone, I miss him so much it’s kind of embarassing but I’m blaming it on hormones. The thought of Sherman’s bedtime still makes me want to run away from home but as Katie said, tomorrow is another day (to be completely demoralized as a mother).

Thoughts from my 36 week checkup on Monday (what, does that math not match any other updates I’ve given? I have no f-ing clue how far along I am, basically. My brain is mush and I’m confused):

1 - I only gained 1 lb in two weeks. I am really, really proud of this. I treated myself to a Thin Mint Blizzard (limited time only!).
2 - Still 1 cm dilated.
3 - OB/GYNs should not employ really skinny nurses. I hate skinny people right now. If you come to see me any time between now and October, you better be in yoga pants and a t-shirt with no makeup or I will give you dirty looks.

 

so what’s left? July 3, 2008

Filed under: best stressed, family, holiday, mommyhood, money, second pregnancy — Erika @ 8:23 am

I want to post but I don’t want to talk about anything.

I don’t want to talk about how relieved I am that my parents may move their plane reservation to Saturday so that they will be here before Train leaves for his first week of classes in Virginia Beach. I don’t want to talk about how guilty I feel that I think it may cost them $300. I don’t want to talk about how I begged them to come three days early when I was pregnant with Sherman and we ended up waiting two more weeks for him to show up. I don’t want to talk about how my parents are dealing with several issues with their rental properties that we were all hoping could be wrapped up before they came but probably will not be, and since they are staying until the end of August, I worry that this will cause them added stress and cost.

I don’t want to talk about how when my parents get here, Sherman will probably prefer my dad for the first few days until he gets used to Train being gone and Grammy and Grandpap visiting, because he is much more into his uncles and Train’s male friends than any adult females lately, and how worried I am that this will hurt my mother’s feelings.

I don’t want to talk about how, after three weeks of being home with Daddy all day, Sherman won’t even talk to me for the first hour when I get home from work, and forget about allowing me to distract him while Train tries to make dinner. I don’t want to talk about how I can’t stand to see him try to get his way by screaming and pushing. I don’t want to talk about how then two hours later he will snuggle up to me on the couch while we watch Sesame Street after bath time and I forget all about the monster that made me want to call Super Nanny.

I don’t want to talk about how Sherman has been fighting naptime (for Daddy during the day) and bedtime for the past few days, including one hellacious two hour fight Friday night after our time at L&D. I REALLY don’t want to talk about how nervous I am that these episodes will continue after my parents get here, and my preferred method of cry-it-out/repeatedly put him back in bed will cause tension and unnecessary drama between my mother and I, at least for the first few days until she comes to her senses and realizes that when Sherman is allowed to rule the roost, everyone suffers. I don’t want to talk about how nervous I am about Sherman getting a good night’s rest and good naps with a newborn in the house who will wake loudly at all hours of the day and night. I’m less nervous about the baby sleeping because I think he will get used to the noise (hopefully).

I don’t want to talk about the credit card bill. I don’t want to talk about Train’s new job as head volleyball coach at a high school in our county, a prestigious job with a great team with excellent prospects that will, if nothing else, mean a lot for his career and fulfill him professionally. I don’t want to talk about how as head coach he is actually responsible for three teams (freshman, JV, and varsity) including practices and games, including away games and all-day tournaments on several Saturdays. I don’t want to talk about how we don’t know what to expect as far as having two children, and that I am anxious I won’t be able to handle them both on my own while he’s gone and will end up (a) taking it out on Train and/or (b) totally losing my mind. I don’t want to talk about the fact that both of his graduate programs finish this fall and I worry that he is taking on too much but he simply could not turn down this job.

I don’t want to talk about the fact that the school where he is coaching is on the other side of the county and we just bought a gas-guzzler to hold our growing family, and how Train has been looking for cheap, high-MPG cars on Craigslist. I don’t want to talk about how not only has he been unsuccessful finding something decent, I have a feeling that whatever he brings home, I will make him park it down the street instead of in our driveway.

I don’t want to talk about how much I freaking hate the ice cream truck that drives around our neighborhood, and how irritated I am that last summer I had a whole list of reasons and this year I can’t remember any.

I don’t want to talk about how it’s 4th of July weekend and I have been hearing fireworks in our neighborhood since Tuesday night and I’m sure they will continue through Sunday, and how keyed up I get worrying that they will wake up Sherman and knowing that one of our dogs simply can’t take it. I don’t want to talk about how I consider calling the county police non-emergency line every 20 minutes to complain about the noise but I figure that would be a nuisance. I don’t want to talk about how every year I wonder if we should take Sherman to see fireworks, but I always decide that messing up his bedtime routine isn’t worth it and I worry if I am too uptight of a parent.

I don’t want to talk about how anxious I am about being in the hospital to have this baby and being away from Sherman for at least two days, and if he will totally forget me while I’m gone or hate me when I get back. I don’t want to talk about how I don’t want him to come to the hospital because if he were to come and pitch a fit or tantrum it would stress me out even more. I don’t want to talk about how I want my parents to stay at the house with Sherman so he doesn’t feel like he is being left behind, but I know they want to be at the hospital when the baby is born.

I don’t want to talk about how I don’t know if I should buy a bunch of different types of pacifiers to take to the hospital. I tried 3 different kinds with Sherman before he liked one. I don’t want to talk about how I only have 3 bottles for this baby because I’m afraid we’ll end up switching brands.

I don’t want to talk about work frustrations, and how if I have the baby early I can go on maternity leave but Train will be out of town, so I keep hoping to not deliver early, which is pretty much the opposite of any normal pregnancy instinct. I don’t want to talk about how social security has not been taken out of my last 3 paychecks and I’m doubtful it will be resolved before I go out on leave, meaning not only will I take my leave without pay, but I will owe money when I return.

I don’t want to talk about our five year wedding anniversary next week, and how all I ever want to do on our anniversary is go to Hershey Park with Train, but for the last two years I didn’t want to leave Sherman all day and this year I’m just too damn pregnant. I don’t want to talk about how our plan was to start trying to get pregnant around this time of year and instead I had a freakout last fall and here we are, and how glad I am that I am almost done with this pregnancy and everything seems to be fine. I don’t want to talk about how much of a help Train has been lately in indulging my nesting instincts and increasing lack of control in my own life, and how lucky I am to be his wife and how much our lives have changed and improved in the last five years.

So I’m just not going to post. What is it that you don’t want to talk about today?

 

it’s the little things June 5, 2008

Kicking it HollowSquirrel style…things I am thankful for:

  • Even though I usually complain about it, I’m thankful that most of our house has hardwood floors, because the rug in the living room STINKS and I can only imagine how bad the entire house would smell if it were all carpet.
  • Even though I’d really like to get the money so we can pay off our CR-V, I’m thankful that we are only trying to sell a $10,000 truck and not a house (houses in our neighborhood are selling for less than half of what we paid for ours in late 2005).
  • Even though I’m starting to get uncomfortable (and actually had contractions - real, non-Braxtion-Hicks contractions - on Monday), I’m thankful that I have not been placed on bedrest, which I think would be torturous right now. 8 weeks to go. I’m thankful that I am still able to give Sherman a bath and put him to bed (in his extremely-low-to-the-ground bed). I’m thankful that the only issue I’ve had is “slight” anemia, and that the iron supplements I’m taking have not totally wreaked havoc on my digestive system.
  • Even though Sherman’s four day scary high fever and general lethargy was awful, I am thankful that he is rarely sick (knock on wood) and has never been admitted to the hospital (knock on wood), because I almost punched a doctor just for giving him a strep test. I’m also thankful that it came during a holiday week and Train and I were able to take turns staying home with him without too much rearranging.
  • I’m thankful that I feel more sane during this pregnancy, able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m not sure what everyone around me thinks of my attitude, but I think it’s pretty great, considering.
  • Even though Verizon is in our neighborhood laying fiberoptic cable, and they cut our Comcast lines on Monday when they were working in our yard, and Comcast won’t send a technician out until Friday to look at it, and we aren’t even Verizon customers so there is no one else to complain to, I’m thankful that Train was able to hook up our own connection to the junction box so that we have been able to use the internet and watch television. You know, the services we pay out the ass for each month.
  • Even though my commute kind of sucks, and doesn’t allow for much flexibility, I am thankful that Sherman doesn’t have to commute with me for an hour each way in the car, and that he is able to wake up and go to daycare at a normal time thanks to Train’s work schedule.
  • Even though it seems like Sherman isn’t making much progress in the speech area, I am thankful for the new words that do occasionally pop up, and I am really tickled at how he keeps asking for Train’s brother-in-law Roadrunner to come and play. It is a trip hearing him use people’s names.
  • Even though I am stressed that I will go into labor or have a similar emergency in the middle of the night and we will have to call someone to stay with Sherman, I am thankful that my parents will be here the second week of July and I won’t have to worry about it after that. Of course, Train will be out of town but…you take what you can get.
  • Even though it’s sometimes kind of embarassing how Sherman usually throws a fit when I arrive to pick him up from daycare, I am thankful that he enjoys daycare and doesn’t instead throw a fit when Train drops him off in the morning.
  • Even though it is a TOTAL DRAG, I’m thankful that I am able to pack healthy snacks to take to work along with my lunch and, sometimes, breakfast, because my junk food/candy intake at work was getting ridiculous. I have always packed my lunch, but I find if I make the extra effort to bring snacks from home (for 9am, 10:30am, and 2pm…yes…I take a lot of food with me), I’m not scavenging the snack machines and various candy jars on my floor, and I feel better overall.
  • I’m thankful that it’s Thursday and we can semi-relax this weekend because Train finished all of the projects on my MUST DO BEFORE BABY OMG LIST (HOUSE SUBCATEGORY) during Memorial Day weekend. Now I have to start working on my own MUST DO BEFORE BABY OMG LIST (SHOPPING SUBCATEGORY) and MUST DO BEFORE BABY OMG LIST (CLEANING SUBCATEGORY). And pack a hospital bag. Sigh.
 

week end wrap-up May 16, 2008

This week I have:

  • Almost hurt an old lady at CVS on purpose. I had ONE THING to purchase, and I was in line at the photo center, the only register open. There was an older lady standing at the front registers (which were closed) writing something in her checkbook. As the line at the photo center got longer and longer, the cashier called for backup and another register was opened. You know the old lady hightailed it over and got to the new register at the same time I did. I figured I should be nice (even though…hello, pregnant!). But then she slowed back down to molasses speed and took forever emptying her (full) cart, finding her ExtraCare card, and writing a check. Four customers got through the line at the photo center while I stood there. I could literally feel the hormones surging through my body and I wanted to scream, cry, and then throw her cart across the store. It was an uncharacteristic display of willpower. OY!
  • Passed my glucose tolerance test. I took Monday off to do the test (realizing once I got there that they were open on Saturday…) and meant to call the doctor on Wednesday for my results. My OB practice has a “no news is good news policy” but I just wanted to check. I was busy at work and forgot, and around 12:15 I had a voicemail on my cell phone from one of the nurses doing a “follow-up…give me a call back after 1:00.” So I spent the next 45 minutes thinking I had gestational diabetes and was drinking my last Coke until August. But when I called, the nurse said I had done great with the glucose, but was slightly anemic and needed to take some additional iron supplements. Compared with the possibility of diabetes…no problem.
  • Overdrafted our checking account by $700. When I tried to transfer our economic stimulus money into our ING account, I pulled it from the wrong bank. We have been so busy this week, I didn’t notice it until a day too late, when all of my electronic bill payments went through and our checking account was a nasty mess of red numbers. Train spent most of Wednesday night (until 1am, actually) making multiple ATM withdrawals from Wachovia and then depositing the money into Bank of America. Even then we kept miscalculating the fees and outstanding checks so it still really wasn’t enough. I called BoA on Thursday and the customer service rep nicely refunded the $125 in overdraft fees, and I made another deposit Thursday afternoon thinking we would be in the clear. But a single debit hit the account in between that time, causing another $35 fee, so that when Hector cashed his check yesterday (see below), we were $15 short. Ay yi yi. Another $10 in overdraft fees. I’m not even going to look at that account for a few days until all of that settles down. But what a holy mess. I’m blaming it on the Bush administration.
  • Finally hung curtains in Sherman’s room. I wanted something very specific and I had to have them pieced together because I know nothing about sewing, but I love them. Am decorating genius.

This week we have:

  • Bought a car! After Sunday’s attempt at the Honda dealership, Train took another look around Craigslist and asked me what I thought about a Ford Expedition. I know you are thinking we are out of our minds, with $4 gas and all, but remember: the vehicle we’re getting rid of is an F-150, so it’s not that different. He had found a couple in the area that looked really nice. We fell in love with a green Eddie Bauer edition, but when I called the dealer Monday night the salesman was 90% sure it had already been sold. I found another 2005 Eddie Bauer (blue) at a dealership closer to us, and Train went to look at it Tuesday during lunch. Of course the salesman said, “Take it with you and try it out!” and so he did. We ended up driving that Expedition down to another dealer Tuesday afternoon to look at a second (older) one. It took over an hour in traffic to get to the second dealer, and the car was not in as good condition, so we stopped for drive-thru and went back to the original dealer, which took over and hour and a half. By the time we got to the dealer it was after 7pm and we still had carfax and other issues to work out, not to mention price. I eventually left Train there and got Sherman home, bathed, and in bed by 8:30pm. Not too shabby, but not an evening I want to repeat soon. That night we ended up using the DVD system that we swore we’d try not to use, and it was a LIFESAVER. I’m in love with this car. It’s so much roomier than a Pilot.
  • Replaced our basement door and bathroom faucets. Hector and Train have replaced all of the other exterior doors in the house, and this was the last one to do. They put in a solid steel door and a storm door on the outside. And not a moment too soon, because we had some torrential rains and we had had problems with water getting in under the old door. As for the faucets, the upstairs bathroom double-handle faucets squeaked something awful, and the guest bathroom is right outside the nursery and that always set my teeth on edge. Now we have single handle, silent faucets, and you don’t have to always choose between “hot” or “cold”. Heaven.

  • Paid $450 for the 30,000 mile tune up on the CR-V. Ouch.
  • Gotten our man room projector back. We have a “den” in the basement and instead of a TV, we have a ceiling-mounted projector and movie-style screen (thanks to Luff). A while ago, it started messing up so we replaced the lamp and Train cleaned out the inside of the projector. Of course that wasn’t the problem, and things went downhill fast, to the point that the colors were so screwed up you couldn’t even watch it. We decided to send it off for service, and $800 later, it came back today. We have hardly spent any time in the man room since the projector’s been gone (even though there is an actual television in there). It’s looking great and better than new. Let’s hope it holds out.
  • Drafted a Craigslist ad to sell the truck. I hope we can get it up there soon but we have got to clean it out first. We are determined to get enough money (within Blue book range) to pay off the CR-V and have some left over, possibly for a trailer.

I’m sure you’ve seen that John Edwards has endorsed Barack Obama. He says he’s not interested in Vice President (and cagey about Attorney General), but you have to admit they look damn good together. It’s a shame, because I think Edwards on the ticket would help Obama immensely. But I understand that he’s been there, done that.

 

life is a highway May 11, 2008

Filed under: best stressed, is it just me?, second pregnancy — Erika @ 8:53 pm
Tags: , ,

Why can’t anything ever be simple? Ever since we found out about baby #2, we’ve been contemplating our vehicle situation. We have a small SUV and a pickup truck. It works fine for now, but we’d like something with a little more room for actual human beings and all of their legs.

We bought the truck my senior year of college, during Train’s first year of teaching. I say “we” because if it were up to him he’d still be driving his shit brown 1987 Ford Ranger (I know all my sorority sisters are recalling that truck fondly right about now). But let’s face it, we were engaged at that point, and no husband of mine was going to be driving a car almost as old as me. He has an F150 extended cab 4WD, and it has served him well. Me, on the other hand…well, it’s kicked my ass a few times and I’m not particularly sorry to see it go. The reason it has to go is because Sherman’s car seat sits in the middle of the back bench, basically putting his legs in between the two front seats. Adding a second car seat, which we always thought we could do because there are anchors, means each kid would sit behind one of the front seats, and also means Mommy and Daddy in the front would be eating dashboard every time we were in stop-and-go traffic. NOPE! Selfishly, I’m also tired of Train being the neighborhood and family haul guy just because he has a truck. Dude, Home Depot rents those things for $20/hour, move your own damn couch. We’ve gotten to the point where if someone needs the truck we just give them the keys, but that has resulted in some unfortunate air-freshener incidents which I don’t care to repeat. Plus, have you seen gas prices lately? Yowza.

Our other car is a CR-V, which we bought new about two years ago right after Sherman was born. I really love this car…pretty much the only thing that would make it better would be a line-in jack for the iPod. Or maybe XM radio. Anyway. I love how it handles, and it is plenty roomy for the three of us and all of our junk. It’s not too hard to get in and out of (like the Civic we had before, which was too low to the ground for me to wrestle Sherman into). The only problem is that in this car we have our Britax Marathon, which, holy jesus is that thing big. It’s in the middle of the backseat, and I asked Train a few months ago to move it to one side so it would be easier for me to get Sherman in and out. His verdict was that it is so large front-to-back that it wouldn’t fit behind one of the front bucket seats. Plus, we don’t go on a whole lot of car trips - the furthest we go is North Carolina, which is about 5 hours - but when we do, the CR-V is usually packed to the gills with luggage, pack n play, toys, snacks, computer, DVD player, etc. Adding a second child and all of his accompanying gear was overwhelming. So the idea is that we could get something bigger for serious family travel, and I could keep the CR-V just to get around.

We had settled on a minivan some time ago, thinking that it would give us plenty of space and extra passenger room if needed. I was SUPER psyched about automatic remote sliding doors. Every time I walked out of daycare with my arms full of keys, backpack, and Sherman I had a nice little daydream about the Honda Odyssey. But there is still the whole “minivan” stigma, and how we couldn’t really see ourselves in one, and Train didn’t think having two or three extra seats in the car just for when my parents came to visit was all that worth it.

So we had kind of decided on a Honda Pilot. We are obviously pleased with our current Honda and everybody knows they last forever. We do all of our service through our local Honda dealer who is just down the street, and the anal-retention in me likes having all of our records at one place. The Pilot has a third-row seat that could be kept in the fold-down position until needed (although with two car seats anchored in the second row, it would be next to impossible to actually sit in the third row, but hey…THE OPTION IS THERE).

We’ve kicked this into high gear recently because the Honda dealers around here have been doing promotion after promotion, and my bank at work has great auto loan rates. We’re in the position that what we make by selling the truck privately (probably Craigslist) can pay off the CR-V, so we can still have one car payment.

Train and I hate the whole car buying process. We are terrible negotiators and never stick to our “out the door” maximum that we agree on going in. We have purchased three cars together (new and used) and we still don’t feel like we’ve gotten the hang of this game.

My preference is to buy a new car because it’s easy. You have a warranty and you don’t have to worry about finding some guy’s fingernail clippings in the ashtray (Britt, looks to me like you need to re-tell that story). There are no variables about condition or mileage or Blue Book values. Sign the papers and you’re done, on the way home with the paper floormats in place and the new car smell. It’s fast, and time is something we have very little of lately.

Alas, we can’t afford a new Pilot and keep a similar car payment (obviously, since a Pilot is bigger than a CR-V). So we hit Craigslist to see what is out there and I was overwhelmed by all of the details. There’s this Pilot that’s newer, but has higher mileage, but a lower price. But then there’s this one, with less mileage and leather. Nothing is equal, there is no baseline. It’s exhausting.

So my second-favorite option is to buy a certified used car from the dealer where we bought the CR-V. They had quite a few 2005 Pilots and, oh darn, they are all EXL with leather interior and alloy wheels. Shoot.

We did the internet request-a-quote last night on 4 different 2005 Pilots, all with varying mileages and one with a Rear Entertainment System, which I had mixed feelings about. Of course the salesman looked up our records and got Train’s phone number and called us today on the way to our Mothers Day lunch from hell. I told him we could stop by this afternoon or maybe tomorrow. He told me he had just gotten 9 additional used Pilots in that were in the process of being certified.

After we got home from our disaster of a lunch-that-wasn’t-lunch-at-all, it was raining and I went up to the dealership to meet with the salesman. He had three PIlots with great low mileage, all the same color and trim level. I mentioned the truck and how we might want to trade it in (although really we want the cash, if we can save any hassle in this process we at least should check).

He takes the VIN for the truck and runs a report. I won’t even tell you what the trade in offer was because it was laughable as they always are, but come to find out there is an odometer discrepancy on the Carfax report. Some IDIOT at the Ford dealership here keyed in the wrong mileage on a routine service back in 2004, so when the truck was inspected in 2005 and the correct odometer reading was entered, it appeared to be lower than in 2004 which sends up a red flag. No dealership will accept a record like this as a trade-in, and any Craigslist buyer with half a brain would have questions about it. So we spent the evening digging through the glove box and our file cabinet looking for mileage verification. Luckily, Carfax wants a receipt from within 6 months prior to the error and within 6 months after, and we were able to find oil change/inspection receipts within that time frame. Hopefully it won’t take too long, but it’s still a pain in the ass we don’t need.

As far as the Pilot goes, the salesman told me his internet prices were the bottom line. I was so stunned by that bullshit I thanked him for his time and left, because…whatever. He obviously didn’t need my business enough to do anything but point to the sticker. Not to mention that we are repeat customers, and Train also brought his brother there to buy his first car. So we’re back to Craigslist, and the unending comparisons and hand wringing about which is the better deal, then chasing them all over northern Virginia.

 

and last night I dreamt of plastic-covered doorways March 18, 2008

Filed under: best stressed, mi casa — Erika @ 9:48 am
Tags: ,

Well, there have been no further bloody episodes (knock on wood). Sherman’s new room is painted and totally cleaned out. One of Train’s co-workers went with me to Ikea and Target this weekend (mostly to help carry/lift) and we had a great time. It was a really nice break, and Train was able to finish the painting while we were gone and Sherman napped. (I was stressing Friday night because I certainly couldn’t go to Ikea-the-kingdom-of-self-service alone, and I wasn’t sure I would be able to convince Train to go with Sherman and I after a morning of painting.) Hopefully the furniture will get put together this week, which is Train’s Spring Break. Our plan is to have Sherman in his new room and big boy bed Saturday night. Sans blood.

Speaking of Spring Break, it absolutely could not have come at a worse time. Literally, any other week this year would have been a blessing. Our daycare provider works when teachers do. So if there is a holiday or break, she is off too. Which is fine, because Train can keep Sherman.

But it also means that as the kitchen floor replacement project is reaching critical mass, we planned to take a week off from the progress to avoid having Hector working while Train and Sherman were home. Remember Train was planning on ripping out the old stuff himself, and having Hector begin his work immediately after.

We found out Sunday night that Hector wouldn’t be available next week (3/24), so if we didn’t want to push this into April, we needed to do it this week. Train’s brother could help him rip out the tile, but that still left Sherman. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law’s Spring Breaks are not until after Easter, so they couldn’t keep or take him.

So, we decided that I would take off St. Patrick’s Day and keep Sherman entertained while the boys ripped out the tile. We were out of the house by 8:30 for a wholesome McDonalds breakfast, and even by then Sherman was already in the way. (So in other words…thank goodness for me.)

After breakfast we spent a good hour and a half at the mall playground which was thankfully quiet even though it was Spring Break. Then we had a nice lunch at Chick-Fil-A and 90 minute nap in the stroller while I bought some summer clothes for Sherman and enjoyed a milkshake and magazine. (And let me say that Train and I are so entrenched in an only-eating-out-on-weekends schedule that paying for food three different times in a single day makes me hyperventilate a little even now.)

By the time we got home, the tile was gone, subfloor exposed, and everything had been taken to the dump. Two discoveries: (1) in the foyer, the ceramic tile was installed on top of linoleum and sticky tile. Which explains why that tile held up marginally better than the kitchen (where it was installed directly on the plywood subfloor) and why it wasn’t quite as cold. (2) In the kitchen, the previous owners (grrrr) installed tile in the entire room BEFORE installing the cabinets. So the cabinets are on top of tile. WHO DOES THAT? We were afraid it would mean we would have to take out the cabinets, rip out the old tile, and reinstall them.

When I got home from my 20-week OB checkup, Hector was there. I had actually worked myself up into quite a state on the way home. Clearing the stuff off the floor in the kitchen and foyer was challenging enough (including emptying my china cabinet), and if I had to empty all of the lower cabinets and ALSO find a place to put the actual cabinets…I wasn’t sure I could handle it. I can’t live like that, folks.

Of course, my beloved Hector said we wouldn’t have to do that, that he would make it work. I’m sure he will and it will look great (if you’re interested in the details: since we are adding a layer of Durock under the tile, it will sit higher than the old tile, so even if every trace of old tile can’t be hidden, it will be literally covered by new tile). I said it was a good thing, because if we were going to have to take out the cabinets, we were going to replace the countertops and sink. I could actually see the steam coming out of Train’s ears. He was holding Sherman at the time and I’m surprised Sherman wasn’t scalded. Oh well, crisis averted.

Hector should start putting down the underlayment today. Hopefully this will all be done by the weekend. It doesn’t solve the problem that Train will have to entertain Sherman all day and keep him out of the way while Hector works (I’m pretty sure Hector won’t mind taking a break during naptime), which sounds like a miserable Spring Break. But it will be done soon, and I’m especially thrilled that it will be in time for Sherman’s birthday party.

 

lay it on me March 14, 2008

Filed under: best stressed, mi casa — Erika @ 7:03 am
Tags: ,

As if there isn’t enough going on around here, what with the second son and the moving of the bedrooms, and the big boy bed I haven’t told you about, we are hoping to have our kitchen floor replaced by the end of March.

When we bought our house in November of 2005 (when I was pregnant with Sherman), it was vacant. Our suspicion was/is that it had previously been a boarding house for mostly construction workers. We also suspect that they did most of the work on the house themselves. The kitchen floor and cabinets seemed new; the bathroom vanities were new; the basement full bath seemed almost entirely new.

Of course, we’ve since discovered that they perhaps did not take the pride in their work as we might have hoped. The bathroom vanities are caulked to the hilt, making it impossible to cleanly paint around them (especially in the dark colors I prefer). The sink in our bathroom has mysterious gouges (where perhaps someone left their hammer in the sink and then…rattled it around) that cannot be cleaned. The shower in the basement bathroom was installed without a trap in the drain, meaning sewer gases can come straight up into the house. Thanks guys! And thanks, home inspector!

But most noticeable of all was the ceramic tile in the kitchen and entryway. It was a nice, light neutral color. There were already a few cracked tiles when we moved in, but we weren’t overly concerned. Then as we began moving things into the house and actually walking on the tile, the problems began. Namely that the grout would pop up and out in chunks. I typically vacuum the floor instead of sweeping before mopping (we have hardwood floors and two dogs, come on) and I would vacuum up chunks of grout from between the tiles (and still do). More tiles inexplicably cracked, without major trauma like dropping a heavy bowl or brick or anvil. The bright white grout turned black. The light-colored stone showed every single spill and spot. It is always cold in the kitchen - where there is an exterior door and three large windows - especially in the winter, where it’s usually FIVE DEGREES colder in there than in the living room, which is just around the corner and also where the thermostat is.

(notes in Flickr)

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One of the most heavily-trafficked areas of the kitchen, next to the trash can and sink. you can see the cracks and the nasty grout.

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This is what the grout looks like under our kitchen table, where no soul has ever stepped. It all looked like this when we moved in.

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Our foyer/entranceway. The kitchen is through the door on the right; on the left are stairs down to the basement and up to the top level. I’m including this picture to show you how the hardwood meets the tile and why I am stressed that the tile I picked isn’t going to look good right next to the wood.

Turns out the tile was installed directly on the plywood subfloor, giving it absolutely no room to flex with pressure (such as…the weight of a human). The crawlspace underneath the kitchen was not insulated, so basically we were feeling all of the cold air from under the house seeping up through the subfloor and tile. You literally could not go into the kitchen in the winter without at least socks on, even standing on a rug.

Some of you may remember my beloved neighbor Hector, who is a contractor by trade and a tile specialist. He replaced and re-tiled both of our upstairs showers when I was on maternity leave with Sherman (one leaked, and one was just ugly). He has replaced three sets of exterior doors for us (with Train’s help). He shimmied up into the attic to check our attic fan. He installed a frost-free water spigot in our carport. He installed the toilet in our bathroom after Train discovered a broken floor flange. He’s wonderful. He also has the same house as us, down the street, so he always has good ideas on what works in our house and what doesn’t.

Any time Hector has come over in the last few years, he would shake his head and cluck over our kitchen floor. “I feel sorry for you,” he would always say. What a waste of time and money to get new tile and not install it correctly, just so that it has to be re-done three years later. “We need to fix this!”

Well, we’re finally ready. He came by a few weeks ago to measure and work up an estimate and give us suggestions on what kind of tile to look for. We talked about doing the work while Sherman is at daycare, and doing it in two stages so we only have to keep him out of one part of the room at a time. We can get a darker grout so I’ll basically only have to mop when shoes begin sticking to the floor. On Hector’s suggestion, we’re going with 16 x 16 tile, which I am inordinately excited about.

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Train brought it home, all 25 boxes, Wednesday night. Train is going to rip out the old tile, at Hector’s suggestion, to save money. Supposedly it should just pop right off since it wasn’t really grouted down to begin with. Hector has also convinced Train to do the crawlspace insulation himself, so that will save money too.

Once the old tile is gone, Hector will start immediately putting the new stuff in (I’m hoping…really it all comes down to everyone’s day-by-day schedule). So ideally we will only be “inconvenienced” for a few days. The trick is that Train’s spring break begins on St. Patrick’s Day, and it would be impossible to (a) rip out tile while keeping an eye on Sherman and (b) even worse trying to keep him out of Hector’s way while new stuff is installed. So we may have to wait one more week until we can get started, but of course next weekend is Easter so that means we’ll lose some time. We also have set Easter weekend as our target date for moving Sherman into his new room, which still needs to be painted and furnished. Nothing like having a lot going on at one time.

 

hem and haw February 21, 2008

Filed under: best stressed, travel, weddings — Erika @ 2:26 pm

Speaking of weddings, I have a wedding-related dilemma. One of my bridesmaids is getting married in my hometown in North Carolina. I haven’t been to visit there since I got married myself almost 5 years ago, because my parents moved to Florida shortly after my wedding. I am super geeked about going down to see how much the area has changed and to visit with a few girlfriends that I keep in touch with.

Kay is having a small wedding at a historical house in Raleigh and then a reception at a fancy restaurant downtown. The wedding is at noon.

I want this to be a family trip. Kay was an excellent bridesmaid to us (not to mention a friend of mine since third grade). I feel that if I just went down by myself, I would be sending a signal that her wedding is not important enough to bring my husband and son, and that just isn’t the case. Plus, none of the other 3 friends I plan on visiting have met Sherman so I would definitely be disappointed if I couldn’t show him off. Missing the wedding is not an option…I have a priceless photo of a fourth-grade Kay dressed as a basket of dirty laundry at my family’s annual Halloween garage party (her mom actually made makeup out of laundry detergent and put it on her cheeks) that must be shared with her soon-to-be husband (whom I have not met). Not to mention I am honored to be invited.

However, noon is Sherman’s naptime. I am by no means being a mommy nazi here (”he cannot miss his nap!!”), but I think it would also be disrespectful if my kid disrupted the ceremony (which, let’s be honest, in all likelihood he could do even WITH a nap - I mean, we don’t even take him to Taco Bell if we can help it). I have RSVP’d to the wedding for two adults, with a note that we hadn’t yet figured out what Sherman will be doing for the wedding.

My original assumption (when I wasn’t sure exactly what the plans for the wedding day were going to be) is that we would drive down Friday (a 5 hour drive), stay in a hotel Friday night, go to the wedding Saturday, stay in a hotel Saturday night, and come home sometime Sunday.

My best friend from high school, Ringlet, is the most (relatively) unattached of my friends and would probably meet us Friday night to hang out for a while. Ringlet has also offered to keep Sherman while we go to the wedding; her house is further away from everything else but I think she would come to the hotel if I asked.

Another friend of mine, Raggie (whose twin sons were the ring bearers in my wedding), wants to have us over for lunch or dinner at some point during the weekend, and a mutual friend of ours, Hop, was going to join us with her toddler son, who is just a couple of months older than Sherman.

Hop has also offered to keep Sherman at her mother’s house while we go to the wedding (Hop lives in Georgia where her husband is in the Coast Guard; she’ll be home visiting while we’re in town).

I have a couple of options here.

(1) Drive down Saturday morning with Train, go to the wedding, and drive home Saturday night, leaving Sherman with my mother-in-law or his sister at our house. Pros: don’t have to leave Sherman with a stranger in a strange place. Cons: don’t get to visit with any other friends, don’t get to bring Sherman with us.

(2) Drive down Saturday morning and go straight to Hop’s house, let Sherman get used to Hop, her son, and her Mom’s house, then go to the wedding and reception with Train, leaving Sherman with Hop. Pros: Sherman will have someone else to play with, and will be with someone who is used to caring for a boy his age. Cons: Sherman has never met these people, and will be left alone with them after a night in a strange place (which may or may not have been restful); I’m also not sure how many toys/distractions Hop’s mom has at her house.

(3) Drive down Friday night, stay in a hotel Friday night, have Ringlet watch Sherman at the hotel on Saturday while Train and I go to the wedding and reception. Pros: Hopefully Sherman will be comfortable in the hotel by then. Cons: While he would be in excellent hands, I don’t think Ringlet has been around any almost-2-year-olds lately.

(4) Ask my mom’s best friend if we can stay with her at her house, and ask her to keep Sherman while we go to the wedding and reception. Pros: We do better when we can spread out in take over a house, especially if Sherman can sleep in his own room. Hopefully by the time we leave, he’ll be comfortable with the house and we can take some a lot a ton of his own toys/DVDs. Cons: I still want to get out and see my friends in the non-wedding time of the weekend, and I don’t want my mom’s friend to be hurt/offended/put out if we just use her house as a hotel and babysitting service, basically.

(5) Get our most favorite babysitter ever, Dr. P, to ditch her best friend’s long-awaited bridal shower (which she is co-hosting) and come the short way to Raleigh to keep Sherman at the hotel for a few hours.

(6) Shut the eff up already and take Sherman to the damn wedding with you if you are going to be THIS FREAKING ANAL ABOUT IT. MY GOD.

So this is what I’m struggling with lately. The wedding is in about 5 weeks, so I figure I have two more weeks to obsess before I need to start making reservations or asking if we can invade someone’s home.

Just for shits and giggles, what would you do?

UPDATED TO ADD: Option (7) Have Train’s sister go with us and keep Sherman at the hotel while we go to the wedding. Pros: He knows her and she knows him. Cons: CROWDED!

 

hail to the redskins…wait, what? February 5, 2008

Filed under: best stressed, mi casa, party — Erika @ 6:29 pm
Tags: , ,

Well, I survived the Super Bowl party.


painted by Train

The party mainly consists of Train’s work friends and our random couples-with-or-without-kids friends in the area, and usually some of our college friends can make the trip from somewhere in Virginia, even though it is a crappy Sunday night game. Why why why? If it’s GOT to be Super Bowl “Sunday”, can we move the President’s Day holiday to the Monday after?

Train always wanted to have an “annual” something and at our first house there simply wasn’t enough room. We bought this house in November of 2005 so the 2006 Super Bowl was our housewarming party, when I was about 7 months pregnant. 2007 was stress time, because although this time I could drink, my mother-in-law didn’t come like I expected, and Sherman was 10 months old and didn’t have a bedtime or a sleep routine. I remember barricading myself in my bedroom with him watching Baby Einstein. Ditto was trying to do the same with our niece, but she was only about 4 months old and still sleeping all the time anyway. We have a split-level house and the noise travels all over the place.

I was dreading this year’s party. Actually, it really snuck up on me since Train ordered and mailed out the invitations with only minimal guest list input from me. I had to keep asking if so-and-so had even been invited. I hate the stress of whether or not we will have enough food, if the house is clean enough for guests, if the house has been completely disinfected after the guests leave, if Sherman will behave, what to do with all of the leftover food. At least we didn’t have to worry about leftover beer this year - since the preseason purchase of the kegerator, most everyone knew not to bring any extra.

I said I wasn’t going to clean, because the house is always so disgusting after the party, and really does anyone actually notice the spots on the kitchen floor when they are standing around crunching chips and dropping brownie crumbs? But of course my inner OCD got the best of me and by Saturday afternoon I was mopping, Cloroxing the refrigerator shelves, and windexing the french doors.

This year I once again couldn’t drink (although Train fixed a great cranberry/raspberry alcohol-free punch) but I was more confident that Sherman would be able to go down a little late and stay asleep even with the noise. He usually goes to bed around 8. I figured it wouldn’t hurt him to stay up until 9, since most of our guests are usually gone by then.

Of course, he spent his entire (regularly two hour) afternoon nap time goofing off in his crib. And then Mrs. MIL (Train’s mom) brought mini M&Ms, and by about 4:00 Sherman was running laps through the kitchen and living room. As Ditto’s husband would say…he was off the heezy.

And of course, the new teachers at Train’s school this year are all fresh out of college, so our basement was one big frat party and they stayed until the bitter end, so I had to keep going down there to ask them to be quiet. Yes, me, even though they were Train’s friends, isn’t that always how it goes?

But Sherman had a terrific time. There were a good number of kids there (including a few dreaded “older” ones…these kids always seem so BIG and NOISY and…ACTIVE in my house, especially when they are ricocheting off the 3 basement couches three minutes after they walk in) and there were more than enough toys to keep everyone occupied, so the parents were even able to have a little break. I have no idea what Sherman ate all night, except that every time I saw him (which was pretty infrequently) he was munching on something, and eventually he dropped all pretense and just started pulling snacks off of people’s plates (hey, it’s his house). I did see Triathlete sneaking him some cake icing about an hour before bedtime. So basically Sherman was totally glassy-eyed and too junked-up to actually respond negatively to any of the kids, so that worked out well.


Triathlete plays with the kids

Kat and Robert brought the charming George who did really well for so much excitement. With all of his aunts and uncles I suppose he is used to it.

Around 8pm I thought Sherman was hitting the proverbial wall (actually leading me up the stairs to his room and Goodnight Moon), but he wandered downstairs to where the real party people were and I heard lots of cheering and clapping and Sherman giggles. After no nap and all of that excitement, he went down at 9 and we didn’t hear a peep out of him, even after the Giants comeback and the drunken roars that floated up the stairs.


enough toys for you?

On Monday morning we woke up to realize we had forgotten to turn the heat back on after the party, and it was 65 degrees in our room, which is upstairs. Train’s brother had spent the night in the basement, but he said he didn’t get too cold.

I spent most of yesterday cleaning up…another round of vacuuming/mopping, wiping down the counters, packing up leftovers and dishes to be returned to their owners, emptying coolers, putting the household junk back in its collection spot on the kitchen table, scouring the kitchen sink, some quality time on hands and knees trying to get jello droplets out of the basement carpet (tell me how you spill a jello shot? I mean…that takes talent), etc. I can say that each year, the day after Super Bowl is the day my house is the absolute cleanest. Train had taken off work too, but didn’t even make it to 11am before he went in, feeling too guilty about leaving his assistant alone for the day with some double PE classes.


Good night, George!!!

 

and bedrooms with doors that shut January 1, 2008

Filed under: best stressed, key west, travel — Erika @ 8:41 pm

We are home. HOME! GOD BLESS HOME.